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Presents positive and effective ways to handle a demanding child's whining, begging, and related problem behaviors, summarizing the major schools of thought and offering practical advice. Original."
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By Blake Thornton (MO, USA)
This is a terrible book. Like many other books about disipline, the philosophy in this book seems to be summed up in the following sentence:
"You (the parent) have more power then your child, so use this power to make the child stop whining."
According to this book, the way to carry out this power struggle out varies from situation to situation and uses tactics like time outs and rewards. Most of the solutions that I read in this book are really just power struggles.
I have personally found that using these power tactics like these make everyone upset (including me!). I might get my way in the short term, but my daughter isn't too happy about it and I don't feel good about the way I treated my daughter.
So, how do you stop whining? I would suggest reading either Gordon's book (Parent Effectiveness Training) or How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish (or better yet, read them both). These books present a way to solve your problems and, at the same time, treat your children like real human beings instead of pawns that you can exert your power over.
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A quick and easy read (my wife and I read it together in one sitting) that outlines a painfully simple yet amazingly effective strategy for ending whining and tantrums. We had a two year old who was about to drive us both into therapy with constant tantrums, testing, and controlling behavior. Things got worse for about a week, but we stuck with it. He is now a totally different kid. Try it with your "high spirited" child.
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I have two children ages 3 and 4 1/2. This book gives wonderful ideas for better ways of dealing with whiny communication. I found some relief in many parts of the book that empathize with those of us who are just plain tired of hearing ourselves scream day in and day out. This book should give other mothers a sense that they are not monsters for feeling angry, resentful or distant from their child when this whining behavior occurs. It gives us some much needed insight to reasons why the child may be whiny and positive ways to deal with it. My little guy is learning quickly that whining does not produce his desires, but that his "big boy" voice gets my attention and praise more easily. There is so much great advice in this book I may read it cover to cover again so I don't forget it all! A nice thing is, it doesn't cover just whining behavior or the preschool ages, there is great advice here to apply to grade schoolers as well. This is at least my fourth book this year on child behavior and it is excellent. Kudos to Child magazine for addressing this subject in such detail. Personally, this is the kind of material high school juniors and seniors should have the option to learn in a classroom setting to better prepare them for the most important job they may ever have: parenting.
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